Outside the Comfort Zone: The Harmless Dragon

Networking is tough, mainly because you are forced to cross through your comfort zone. Engaging and talking to strangers can be rather intimidating. However, the fear of reaching out is essentially based on illusions. In reality, there is really nothing that could be lost (assuming you don’t need to interact with the person in the long run, in which reaching out isn’t necessary for that person anyway). You might feel stupid (you don’t have to) for a few minutes if you mess up, but if your networking was unsuccessful, always by definition, you will never interact with this person again anyway. Nothing is lost. Fear in this case is a dragon, lashing its claws and teeth at you, breathing flame that seems like it could fry up your nerves. However, it must be realized that you are invincible to the dragon. Knowing that the dragon cannot hurt you, you must forget the scary look of the dragon and go out and slay it. Rewards come for
those who try.

One way to realize the harmlessness of the dragon is to think in other peoples’ shoes. If you were at a professional event and someone approached you to ask some questions, what would you think? More often than not, you would smile, try to answer the question, and not think much about the other
person right? Sometimes you would even be a little anxious if you might not be able to answer the question, but very rarely would you think anything negative of that person.

Now you think of yourself as that person who approaches. When you approach someone and start talking confidently, that person is probably thinking what you would have thought if you were in his position: not
thinking much, maybe even a little nervous. Why should that be a little scary for you? Now you might think, “That person is a highly accomplished professional. I am not. Obviously due to his high position he will have a different mindset than I have. If I was CEO of a large firm, I wouldn’t be nervous or anything!”

That’s partially true. But you also must think; this CEO might not be so different from you. Imagine you continued your career, promotions after promotion over a few decades, and one day you become a high executive or CEO. Do you think if someone approaches you, you will really give them a hard time? Or would you still be rather content that people reassured your importance? These are people too, they cried during childhood, had crushes in high school, worked somewhere or another, and due to a lot of hard work and/or luck got to their position. That doesn’t make them untouchable or sacred. You smile
and approach them, and unless they are douche, they’ll be ok.

If that person is simply too busy to give you the warmest response in the world, so be it. You live your life, and he will live his. (I recommend you try again when you have the chance.)

You must not let the harmless dragon scare you away.